Troubling Poetry

Well, apparently poetry writing is getting me into a heap of trouble. I have been writing poetry since the 4Th grade. I think its a little obvious to my professor. Basically I have been told to quit taking poetic license with my essays. So that means I must write in the proper grammatical structure. Well the trouble with this is I've been out of school for six years. During this time I've continued in my poetic endeavors. And actually forgotten how to write clearly. So I'm in trouble, I'm going to have to hunt for grammar help. Unfortunately I don't have much insight to offer today, other than poetry is going to lead to my inevitable academic death. Thus trapping me in my head where I'll be the only one who understands my creative and yet lonely sentence structure.

Xfiles, insight, and destination

Surprise surprise, someone who has titled their blog "destination twilight zone" is an XFILES fan. I loved this show, I came into it very late, actually it was after I saw the Xfiles movie that I began tuning in. On this show in regards to the writing, the writers have to be the cruelest human beings on the planet...Always an undertone, always subtle, always almost but not quite...It drove me insane, hence the shows ummm unique appeal. It was all wrapped up in the romanticism of agent's Mulder and scully. I watched with fingers crossed each week, hoping that this would be the episode, it would happen this week, Mulder and Scully would proclaim their undying love for one another.. And what I usually got was a hint, sometimes not so subtle....And always brief, And voala one day it in the last season it finally happened... After Mulder quit, went underground, After Scully bared Mulder's son this long awaited day came, For those that aren't familiar at how this unison happened after Scully bared her partner's child...Your guess is as good as mine LOL??? But I digress, when it did happen, when they became a couple, it was the biggest TV screen disaster of all time... Perhaps the biggest series let down ever...Was it bad writing? bad timing? Nah, actually I think the writing was quite creative...I think the answer lies in long term anticipation. Art imitates life doesn't it? Frequently, what we want the most in life, once achieved, becomes a let down.... We often figure out the journey of desire is more exciting than the actual destination itself.. Oh deflated expectation, silly humans (I imagine thats what God and aliens say when they look in on us to make sure we haven't killed off our species)...
. OOOOOOOOOOhhh I stun myself with my own babel.. And remember "THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE".... However once you find it, you might be disappointed....

Insane ammunition

Picture a firing squad, rowed up, women all in military green uniforms, aiming rifles, using insanity for gun powder, and atrocious words as ammunition. Picture their foe strapped to a time withered, wooden pole, awaiting their pummeling and the slow death of their soul. Not that words can kill or even maim, no what they do is much worse. Its slow depraved torture, killing a minute piece of self esteem, a small fragment of that person's soul, one malicious utterance at a time. There have been times that I've been on the firing squad, aiming the gun believing that I had the right. I consider these instances to be the absolute worst mistakes I've ever made in my life, thus far.
And just where are you going with this you're probably wondering., I know, I know, I'm going to say something thats been said a million times before. Please bare with me, I just wanted to share a little insight.

Think about what you say, how you say it, and most importantly why you feel the need to say it. Much of the time the motivation is one of cruelty, motivated by the wounds within the gun gripper's soul... Whatever inflicted the wound often causes the one who wears it to resort to evil deeds as a means to heal the open sore. Sadly these atrocities that the gun holder commits just end up leaving the wound deeper and more decayed.

30 Rock and the worm

Let me say this first.. bahhhhahahahhahahahahhahahahhaaaaaaaaaa!!! Absolutely love this show!!!!!! Its pee pee on myself hilarious! Tina Fey is comedic genius along with Mr. Baldwin! I started watching it when I went to visit my mother and sister in Alabama.. When I returned however I didn't follow up with it very well. Anyways I went to NBC's website and caught the most recent episode online...I was doubled over with laughter. These people are so insanely funny and the girl that plays jenna, actually made me see her as someone other than the fruitcake serial killing twin from Law and Order SVU (which is my favorite all time tv show, I like poe come on what did ya expect?) Anyways tracy morgan is just awesome as well...The whole cast is terrific...I hope the show continues to do well, I see it earned a spot on NBC's prestigious thursday night line up so it can't be doing to bad. OK going to go watch some more episodes....Oh yeah and E weekend edition ended its Show today with M.E.'s Oscar nominated song from An inconvient Truth.

Mainstream

I will stand in line
Buy all the right shoes
Dye my hair so its less red
wear some heals
wear a skirt
Talk of pop
Eat my candy
Swallow my soul
Drink red wine
Be a girl
Follow the expectations
Mainstream at the seams
lie to all
Even me
So that I can be that
Which is mainstream

the line is too straight
the shoes are all wrong
The hairy lips are still red
the skirt has a tear
the pop went flat
the candy is sour
The soul turned to bile
the red wine turned to pennies
The girl found a hole in her vagina
The Expectation slithered into eve
Mainstream has been deceived
honesty to all
even me
So that I can be
anything but mainstream

People who don't give back

I've been in florida for a little over a year now. Within that time, I have gotten reaquainted with family members whom I'd not seen since I was a small child. What I have learned from that experience is that I don't like them very much. I have a cousin, who I used to spend quite a bit of time with when I first arrived here. I live on a lowly monthly income so when things got really tight, they suggested a roommate. Its a guy that until recently worked with my cousin's husband.. Well my cousin's husband quit his job, dale, my roommate does not drive because of a suspended liscense.Neither do I as far as that goes, not because of a suspended liscense, its due to it being nonexistant. So therefore, when this happened it left my roomate without a job as well.. So this is my rant. We, Dale and I, have loaned money to my cousin. I've helped them with yard work, yard sales, keeping their daughter...House work...for nothing in return... Now that the chips are down, they won't answer our phone calls or anything... Its been two weeks... Dales income helps me live a little more comfortably. I could do it without him but it would be tight. Ok the problem is, I don't have enough to support Dale... I can't throw him out, there's no where for him to go...What the hell am I supposed to do? I'm hoping that things work themselves out.. Trying to stay optimistic...However it still doesnt keep me from wanting leave a nasty message on my cousin's answering machine. Lovely words come to mind, thank goodness they have a child, so thats the one thing that prohibits me from actually going through with the colorful messages i'd like to leave

quite chatty

Oh a new thought!! Oh boy gotta go blog it down, hehehe Not really, Honestly I have another essay due this tuesday and I'm hoping to take snippets from the flow of babel that I've blogged so far and construct an essay from it.. I work better that way. Ok well the new thought--- how come I'm not funny? I like funny, I'm easy to laugh, I'm a goober but I can't write humor? How weird is that? I get called a dork, almost daily for something corny that just seems to fall out of my mouth.. Oh well i shall work on it, and i'll ask the TBS station for help

Impressionless impressions

First impressions---I've heard that most base their opinions on a person on that sole encounter. If that were true, I'd be screwed royally. hahaha, I have moebius syndrome.. its a disorder that impares facial movement.. Imagine going through your life without being able to smile? Its my life, my world. Most who first meet me, either think I'm mentally challenged or that I've been victim to a stroke. It also causes speech imparement. So to say the least adversity has been a close personal confidante of mine. But there are the gifts that go with it, I can look beyond what I see... I am strong, I am a survivor, I am kind, I am grateful for this curse....Afterall who would I be without it?

common ground, light years apart & hollywoodfarmgirl

There's a blog I have been reading over the past few years. The person who writes is an artist of words. There's an intense honesty and heart felt philosophy in this person's words that inspire me. I can identify with her words, her introspection and maybe even her perceptions. . There's a feeling of common ground. Light years apart and there's a common ground.. Its funny how I can find common ground with someone I don't know, rather than finding it with the people around me. Most of the people in my life just don't get me... Never have and never will, whether its my own fault, maybe I don't give them the chance, or maybe its just the soul that I was born with is too different... Who knows? All i know is I am thankful for blogs like hollywoodfarmgirl's.... I am grateful for common ground..

An easy "A"

I am taking english comp 1 at the local community college. I got my first essay back which was a narrative...I recieved an A, What bugs me is that beneath the "A", my instructor, wrote "A beautiful essay, Laura you have great courage" At first glance you might think, why would that bother someone...Well here's the twilight zone coming to bat once again in this silly thing called life. See I want to be a good writer, no scratch that a great writer.. I have huge grammar issues and some problems with the infiltrated cliche' here and there in my works....These issue's I am aware of.. What I'm not sure of is whether I got an A on that essay I turned in, because of the sensitivity of its content or whether it was based on the merit of a student who wrote a well written essay in her English Comp class? I wrote about an attack and a sexual assault that I had been through and how I came to terms with it, and how I'm on my way to moving past it... Sensitive topics that no one likes to hear about, I wonder if I had written an essay on being a lesbian and the issues that I stare at day in and day out, would I have gotten the same "A"? Would I still have great courage? Or would it be a "C" and no notation beneath it... Would my instructor look at me as a sinner from then on? I live in a small town and the minds are just that in this town, small.....

blurred lines

The essence of life--blurred lines. Concrete is as abstract as truth. The lines we live are blurred and hazy, ever changing ever curving, sometimes severed, sometimes straight. Oh how I used to long for the straight line of life. To be able to blend into a crowd, to not be cursed with a random genetic anomaly, something that has always instilled an insatiable drive to prove myself and somehow led to self destruction when I could not meet the bar I set for myself... I know drugs, I know depression and I know of suicidal feelings... I know of denying myself an inalienable right, One that the president has chosen to deny me. I know what its like to have fire and brimstone singe my truth. I know what its like to walk with demons and to eat with angels. I know what its like to have adversity deprive me of oxygen to the point of near extinction. I know what its like to live a blurred line.... And I wouldn't have it any other way..

Different

I am a college student, an older student, but still a student all the same. I named this destination twilight zone because I feel as if I may have originated there, and life has just been a journey to find my way home I am Different in more ways than most would believe. Yet I am the same, I bleed, feel, breath just the same as you. My thoughts are usually random, and fleeting at best....At worst they are cynical and sarcastic. Thus are the beginning ramblings of an average Jane, who has had a not so average life this far...