Anyone who is a science fiction fan has got to check out the website for Sanctuary, just click on the banner at the bottom of this page...This show is going to be web based. And it looks incredible it stars amanda tapping from stargate sg-1. But get this the entire set is filmed on green screen/...No set locations, few props, most of it is computer generated...If you watch the trailer you will be amazed, because it looks soo real...Eventually they plan to make it interactive, where the viewers participate in the story lines and everything..Im really excited about it!! I think the first webisodes are going to air in may..

message boards, instigation and drama

Ok normally I never speak up or anything when I'm on a fansite message board. I know better, if you don't agree, just don't respond but today, I made the stupid mistake of opening my mouth or well in this case letting my fingers run wild...There was a post beneath mariska hargitay's pics at a gotham magazine party or whatever it was. This post said *I was gagging all the way through until the last two, BD is cute : ) Ok well there has been a lot of complaints lately of Olivia and elliot being the center of the show (law and order svu) putting the other characters on the back-burner.. It didn't used to be that way, really it was a team effort and I am in agreement with them for the most part. Ok back to the post, Chris Meloni was also in a few of the pics that I'm talking about, I assumed that this person was gagging because of all the attention the actor and actress were recieving once again, So me being a Mariska fan, was a little offended by the remark.... So i just wanted to bring to light the fact that even though Mariska was receiving alot of the lime light...It didn't mean she wasn't still a good actress and a good person....So I posted beneath this persons post, these feelings...Hell my exact post was this...Ya know, I know Mariska has been in the lime light alot but still it doesn't mean that she isn't a good actress, she does try to help people but thats just my opinion... And of course i caught hell...What I said is now "The attacking and accusing post" And of course the person who posted it was gagging over Mariska's hair, And i made an extreme assumption....So whatever thats all i have to say, I'm a firm believer in if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all...whenever i break that rule I suffer

spring, A's and papers

Spring is here, everyone is excited but me, the cynic. Florida summer's are HOT!! So the arrival of spring is a foretelling of the summer that looms around the corner. So no I am not happy to see spring...I'm not happy to see the onset of 100 degree temps..I am not happy to feel sticky and sweaty.. No i don't like summer...LOL
So I still have an A in english Class... I have a research paper that I have been busting my arse on, which would be why I haven't posted for awhile... Frankly the time I spend on the internet searching for sources, leaves me little desire to sit on the computer if I don't have too! Which is a good thing because God knows I let the puter eat up too much of my time before so I've been watching movies and reading in my sparse spare time LOL

Fearlessness, triumph, and courage

Fearlessness, a word that The Joyful Heart Foundation uses as one of its empowering logo's, an adjective, that when spoken, and applied becomes the purest definition of empowerment that exists in a Survivor's vocabulary. Fearlessness embodies the sense of taking back one's soul and finding the courage and strength within to continue to move forward in the face of horrific adversity.
JHF has a positive spin on a depraved and untimately tragic subject. How can anyone incorporate such words as joyful in the midst of such degradation? The explaination is simplistic and even trite, yet it is a founded truth. Experiences do not define who we are, we define the experiences. Although we did not have a choice when we were assaulted. We have the choice now! We can choose to overcome, we can choose to heal, we can choose to build something good from the horror's we've endured. We have the power to choose, JHF, promotes possibilties, for survivors these are endless. There's so much good that we can choose to fight for. Justice, healing, speaking out, all these are avenues that survivors can travel proudly, choosing to take their lives back into their own hands. Which road will you choose?

stand back up

"Stand back up" is a song by the band Sugarland. I really love the song. It talks about getting back up after you've been hurt, abused...No matter what, standing back up ready to take what lies ahead. My favorite line in the song says "If what don't kill you, makes you stronger then when I take my last breath thats when I'll just give up"... And that strikes a chord within me... I think its because it inspires me to keep on fighting. the fight, even when I think I'm at the end of my rope. The experience of being sexually assaulted is horrid enough on its own, but there's something much worse than the experience itself., Its called the aftermath. And I don't know why, I mean I can't explain anything, other than my life stopped in those moments . And every minute afterwards, until about a year ago is hazy... I mean, its not like I don't have memories of the time in between. But its as if, they are up above me floating in a thick fog. Giving the illusion that if I tried really hard and jumped on my tippy toes, I could catch them by the tail and everything would be clear again...
There were times when I felt like an emotionless void, I felt nothing, I didn't care about anything. I didn't want contact with anybody from the past at all..There was. only one that I really kept in contact with and I think it was because if I hadn't had some voice of reason, i probably would have self destructed. But even that contact was limited...
And my God right after the attack, I latched on like a leech to the worst set of hosts imaginable...I believe that I had some inner need to punish myself, because the people that I picked out to build relationships with, were just incapable of giving me anything at all in return... These were all relationships that were formed far away from the people I had known all my life, the people who had tried to be there for me when I was sexually assaulted... I couldn't deal with them, I couldn't look at anyone that I knew or associated with that "era" without being reminded of what happened, so I chose people who didn't know me and couldn't love me...Then when finally I was hurt untill the ends of my soul, that's when I just shut down every feeling and every capability of trust that I'd ever had.. That road has led me to having to fight really hard to feel once again...Its one of the hardest things imaginable...But Im making it, and now the bad days are still here, but they are far outweighed by the good...I'm proud of that, because its a battle I wouldn't wish on satan himself....Ok I"ve rambled enough for today, just felt like sharing

gripes rants and generally just pissed off

I had a bad day... I have to start my research paper from scratch because my instructor decides to tell us after we had gotten some sources and tried to write a thesis statement and a preliminary outline that if we're having trouble locating the sources it could be because the topic was to new to find much on it...So she politely suggested we use another topic. Why would you introduce something as an available topic, when there are no sources for it? The new topic fiasco happened at the end of my day, and from the beginning untill then, umm well lets just say that people have done an exceptional job of pissing me off in general... I'm taking my griping, ranting arse to bed..

Top ten reasons i believe in aliens

So here we are, spinning on a big iron ball. Living our silly little lives, and eating popcorn. While the government covers up the existance of the SGC and the stargates that are buried on our planet.....Oh wait, that's a tv show... So we're living our silly little lives while the government covers up genetic mutations with alien and human DNA, no no no no thats a tv show too...

Top 10 reason's I believe in Aliens and the stargate

10. It makes me feel intelligent
9. I'm a geek

8. I am a government cover up, I was conceived in a test tube in order to isolate and eliminate the lesbian gene (it didn't work)

7. My cat talks to me using advanced alien technobabble
6. I once was abducted by aliens, the spaceship was named "The southern Baptist Church"
5. I have a grandiose complex and believe I am a conduit for intergallatic communication ( no one else understands me so alien's must)
4. I entertain deviant thoughts, such as the american president, may have the lowest IQ of any political leader in the history of the universe.
3. I talk to characters on my televison and they respond... (thus a form of plot control)
2. We're always in the presence of UFOS (Ubiquitous forces Of Stupidity).

And the number one reason I believe in aliens...

1 Because I am one, I hail from the planet Antimoron, in the galaxy of free thought

No Bullshit, no facade, just Hollywoodfarmgirl

Famously fabulously phony, those are the words that come to mind when I think of the glitter that lines the streets of Hollywood. What must it be like, to smile and nod for the camera, wave at some fan who squees their name uncontrobally. How long is it before the fans turn into the vast mob that takes away any normalcy that the smiling nodder had ever hoped for? What causes us to just go ape shit over the next pretty face that covers our tv screen? Aren't people, just people? I mean yeah some are gorgeous, some are snobs, some are immoral, but aren't they just human beings? Don't they use the bathroom, have bad breath in the morning? So why the huge and encompassing squees over just regular people? I guess because we need an escape... From the days that our heroes were living in a book, to the days our heroes spoke unseen through the radio, up till today where we live and are bombarded with these heroes through our papers, our tv's and computer screens, they've all held some sort of god like rule over us.. But I wonder if people ever realize that so much of the time, what they see with these people is not what they get... A smile, a wave, an autograph -- all of this is done for their job, just like we hand someone change back when they purchase something at our check out line, these people are required to hand back a smile. I'm not saying we don't need these heroes or our fantasies, but lets be somewhat real about it...Lets not make it our life's goal to hound them... Lets not live and breathe for a glimpse of their private life... And most of all, when you do by chance get to catch one of these heroes being real...For god sakes lets back the hell off and let them continue to be that way rather than smacking them in the proverbial face, only to kick our own selves in the ass because we made it so, they were forced to put the make-up all over their face, slap on the phony smiles... wave and blow meaningless kisses

sleepless nights

Its hot, my a/c is on the fritz and I live in sunny florida, how can it possibly be humid this early? I live in north central Florida. There's no reason for this... Yes I am whining, too misrable to do anything else, and the service company, is gonna be a few days. Oh well it could be worse...Anyone catch nashville star? I did of course the finale was tonight.. Angela won, I am very excited i actually voted for her. Ok i'm going back in front of the fan, when air becomes a convience I get to enjoy again, I'm sure I'll be once again full of babel...Until then, pray for cooler temps so that I don';t melt...I am made of sugar ya know..hahahahaha