Top ten reasons i believe in aliens

So here we are, spinning on a big iron ball. Living our silly little lives, and eating popcorn. While the government covers up the existance of the SGC and the stargates that are buried on our planet.....Oh wait, that's a tv show... So we're living our silly little lives while the government covers up genetic mutations with alien and human DNA, no no no no thats a tv show too...

Top 10 reason's I believe in Aliens and the stargate

10. It makes me feel intelligent
9. I'm a geek

8. I am a government cover up, I was conceived in a test tube in order to isolate and eliminate the lesbian gene (it didn't work)

7. My cat talks to me using advanced alien technobabble
6. I once was abducted by aliens, the spaceship was named "The southern Baptist Church"
5. I have a grandiose complex and believe I am a conduit for intergallatic communication ( no one else understands me so alien's must)
4. I entertain deviant thoughts, such as the american president, may have the lowest IQ of any political leader in the history of the universe.
3. I talk to characters on my televison and they respond... (thus a form of plot control)
2. We're always in the presence of UFOS (Ubiquitous forces Of Stupidity).

And the number one reason I believe in aliens...

1 Because I am one, I hail from the planet Antimoron, in the galaxy of free thought